


Fall to Pieces When I’m With You.

by Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan), ShippingFangirl26



Series: Fall To pieces au. [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst with a Happy Ending, Band Fic, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 00:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16006034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Succubusphan/pseuds/Nefertiti1052, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippingFangirl26/pseuds/ShippingFangirl26
Summary: Daniel Howell was a talented Musician whose dream came true. Not only did he achieve a certain level of success but he got to be the opening act to his favourite band.He would finally meet his idol, Phil Lester.





	Fall to Pieces When I’m With You.

**Author's Note:**

> Written in collaboration with the lovely @shippingfangirl26 for the II Tour fest hosted by @phandomficfests. We want to thank a million times to @artlessdynamite who received this fic 24 hours before the end of the posting day and spent 11 hours of her time fixing it. You have won your spot in heaven.

 

Dan inhaled as he strolled through the doors of the London concert space. It was just a tiny hall, fitting no more than a few hundred people, but for testing, it would be enough.

 

Alone he probably wouldn’t even be able to fill this hall yet. But the band did. They were able to fill bigger halls than this one without a problem - And he, Dan himself, would be their opening act.

 

What a thought.

 

Walking further inside felt like walking on clouds. He was pretty sure he was floating as he passed the entrance hall and entered the actual concert hall. He could have taken the back entrance, he assumed, but he didn’t want to. This would be his working space for the next few weeks, figuring out how to pull off a show this big. He wanted his first impression to be a thorough one - one that represented the venue’s “personality” well.

 

He stood by the entrance, just staring at the stage for a moment, taking in the atmosphere. He still couldn’t believe he was actually here.

 

It was then that the sounds reached him.

 

He had been so enthralled by the experience he hadn’t even heard the cluttering, metal and wood, voices and laughter. Some crew members were already walking across the stage, trying to become familiar with the equipment they’d be working with the next few months.

The center of the stage was what truly caught his attention though. There they sat, _Coffeemania_ \- or at least two thirds of them. Before Dan’s inner fangirl could take over completely he realized one of them, his favourite one, nonetheless, was missing.

 

Phil Lester, the tall, charismatic singer and guitar player with the black hair and striking blue eyes had captured Dan’s interest from the moment he first heard them play. But alas, _he_ was not sitting with the group. Which was probably for the best because _that_ was the meeting Dan was the most anxious about.

 

He still couldn’t help letting his gaze wander through the room. Where _was_ he? Would he not be here today?

 

Dan had just made up his mind, decided to enter without knowing where his favourite member of the band was, when a kind voice reached him from behind. “Are you looking for something?”

 

Dan, being the slightly obsessive fan that he was, spun around as fast as humanly possible, recognizing the voice immediately. It felt like a movie scene. A choked sound escaped his throat and for a second he was _staring_ \- flat out staring.

Phil Lester stood right in front of him. And, goddamnit, did he look _gorgeous_.

“ _God,_ ” Dan said under his breath, unable to keep his eyes from drinking in Phil’s appearance. There was a lump forming in his throat and he was pretty sure he had forgotten how to breathe somewhere along the way.

 

Phil’s voice ripped him out of his stupor. “Usually, people call me Phil,” he said chuckling, crinkles moulding around his eyes and a big grin forming on his face. Dan couldn’t help but chuckle along with him. “Okay, but usually people haven’t been fans of you for ages when they meet you. I’m allowed.”

Phil laughed at this, full on laughed, and it was an intoxicating sound. “Touchè.” He extended his right hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Phil, as you obviously know, and you are Dan I assume?”

 

Dan needed a moment to recover before shaking his hand, ignoring the electric shock shooting through him at the contact as best as he could. It wasn’t easy. “It’s really, really nice to meet you. And yeah, I’m Dan.”

 

There was shuttering behind them, a few moments of light, before a man came out of the shadows. Phil, obviously familiar with him, only spared him a smile, before starting to grin mischievously. “Tony, get us Dan’s piano on stage please!” he shouted out in general direction of the stage before he bolted towards it, clearly expecting Dan to follow suit. “He’s gonna give us a taste!”

 

“Oh, am I now?” Dan asked after him, laughter bubbling up in his chest. He felt light and surprisingly comfortable - human interaction didn’t usually come easily to him, but in this case, he fit right in. His heart was racing from excitement, his hand was still prickling from the handshake, and he had only half a mind to turn to the man standing behind him, waiting.

 

The man had followed the interaction closely, silently observing, and somehow Dan felt the sudden urge to defend himself for the blush obviously creeping up his neck all the way up to his cheeks. He opted for introducing himself instead. “Hi, I’m Dan. I’m the opening act.” The other guy, much shorter than him and more on the silent side, from the looks of it, nodded and shook his hand in greeting making his soft brown curls bounce. “I’m Connor, the photographer,” he answered with a lopsided smile. It was only then that Dan recognized him from the band’s social media.

 

At this point, Phil was calling him from the stage. “Dan! Get your cute butt up here! We wanna hear something!”

 

Chuckling again, Dan had already forgotten Connor’s presence by the time he reached the stage, walking up the steps on the side.

 

“Come on, Dan!” Phil called him again, patting the piano stool the crew had brought up on stage along with his big concert grand piano.

 

“God, Phil, let the guy breathe!”

 

Dan turned to the friendly looking woman who was now approaching him. He knew her, of course he did. She was relatively tall for a woman, with long, wavy brown hair and warm eyes. She was undeniably pretty. He could feel a jolt of irrational jealousy surging through him like a lightning strike, setting his veins on fire in the process. She was such a nice girl, he knew that, open and humorous, and he _would_ like her - if it wasn’t for the fact that she was currently dating Phil, who Dan had admittedly had a foolish crush on for years.

 

He held in his breath for a second before letting the air out slowly, desperately trying to keep it together. This was his chance, he was not going to waste it for some unjustifiable jealousy.

 

“Hi, Dan, I’m Malinda. You’ve heard of us before?”

 

Dan chuckled before shaking her outstretched hand. “Hey, Malinda. Yeah, I’ve been a fan of you guys for ages. It’s all a bit overwhelming.” She had an aura that screamed of kindness and Dan miraculously found himself somewhat drawn to talk to her from the beginning.

 

“Don’t be too excited, the guys are actually pretty boring,” she stated with laughter in her voice.

 

“Hey! I’ll have you know I am perfectly exciting, thank you very much!” The voice came from the other side of the stage, and Dan watched as the blonde boy approached him, letting his eyes roam over Dan’s form. “My name’s Troye. Nice to meet you.”

 

He let his hand linger in the handshake, just for a second, and Dan wouldn’t even have thought anything about it had he not caught Troye’s eyes raking his body in a pretty obvious way. Wait, was he… Was Troye Sivan checking _him_ out?

 

Dan, completely taken aback by this startling realization, blinked a few times in Troye’s general direction before turning towards Phil again. ‘ _Don’t let it affect you’_ , he thought, something he’d have to learn coming into the entertainment business: If your looks are just slightly above average people will check you out. All. The. Time.

 

 _‘Okay, but does it have to be Troye Sivan?’_ a voice in him asked and he had to agree. The boy was a supermodel, quite literally. Why did he have to pick Dan of all people? Especially when he was around someone as pretty as Phil Lester all the time.

 

By the time Dan had reached the concert grand piano his mind had migrated from Troye back to Phil. The guy was a literal ray of sunshine and Dan was attracted to him like a moth to the light. _‘Metaphorically’_ , he thought.

 

He sat down on the stool without much ado and grinned at Phil situated right next to him, trying to ignore the bubbly feeling in his belly. “What do you want to hear?” The sparkle in Phil’s piercing blue eyes only made his gaze more stellar, catching Dan in a grip harder than iron but softer than feathers.

 

_‘I’m screwed’._

 

The thought darted quietly through his mind, but he refused to acknowledge it, disregarding his traitorous heart thumping wildly at Phil’s cuteness. He wasn’t sure if Phil had slid closer, or if it had unintentionally been himself, but suddenly his thigh was pressed to Phil’s and that definitely didn’t help him to feel more relaxed.

 

“Just do something you like!” Phil suggested enthusiastically, completely unaware of Dan’s inner turmoil. “The first thing that comes to your head. Go!”

 

Dan was completely high on adrenaline, a welcomed boost in confidence. He was normally opposed the idea of playing without any form of preparation, but today, he just couldn’t resist the obvious _joy_ Phil was emitting, all smiles and giggles and happiness, so he just - did as he was told: looked at Phil and started playing.

 

For the first few keys even he wasn’t aware of what he was doing, no thinking, just letting it flow out of him, before he started recognizing the accords and finally caught up with his hands. He couldn’t stop the lazy grin from spreading over his lips before he started singing. _Oh, well imagine, as I’m pacing the pews in a church corridor..._

 

Losing himself in the song he didn’t even realize it had gotten suspiciously quiet around him while playing. Of course, it hadn’t been particularly loud before, most of the crew and the rest of _Coffeemania_ focused on the interaction between Dan and the band; but there had still been some kind of rustling backstage. But now it was quiet, everybody completely captured by the way Dan _caressed_ the notes with his hands and his voice.

 

When he was done he blinked, surprised by how quiet it had grown around him. “Uhm…” he started, unsure of what to do, before a loud round of applause erupted from the group leaving Dan speechless.

 

“Marvelous,” Phil murmured, staring at him with obvious amazement shining in his eyes and Dan felt like he was flying.

 

Was this _really_ his life - or was it all just a dream?

 

\---

 

 **@coffeemania The newly defined opening act obviously exceeded our already high expectations… You’ll definitely be as ecstatic as us!  
** _(It’s a picture of the stage from some distance. Dan is sitting on his stool at his concert grand, back turned towards the camera, unidentifiable. Phil is seated right next to him, turned in his direction so Phil’s expression of silent wonder is on clear display. Malinda and Troye are standing on the right side of the piano, sporting similar expressions to Phil.)_

 

\-------

 _Coffeemania_ was a tightly knit pack; they enjoyed spending time together aside from working on their music. According to Phil, it was the secret to their success.

 

There was no jealousy, ego competitions, or forced interactions. The band was, first and foremost, a group of close friends with a passion for music and art, a fact they often used to assure each other in stressful situations. “Friends first, band second, remember?”

 

The original group consisted of Phil, Malinda and Connor, who had been attending the same university at the time. Eventually, Connor introduced Troye to the mix and everything clicked together.

 

One horribly rainy afternoon, whilst trapped in their favourite coffee shop, they decided to take their occasional improve sessions down a more serious route. Malinda tore a page from her notepad and started writing down possible band names. They wanted to go with something that represented them all and what they had in common, including Connor, who was a part of the creative process even if he, strictly speaking, wouldn’t be a member of the band. They settled for a name that would not only honour the place that saw them come to life, but also the obsession they shared: _Coffeemania_.

 

The moment was immortalized in a polaroid. At that point in time, they had no idea what life had in store for them. Success, a very dedicated following - and fame.

  


 

The traditional Friday gatherings continued, even though they had to be moved to one of their homes or, occasionally, hotel rooms due to constant recognition from the fans.

 

A couple of weeks after their first meeting and improvised rehearsal, Dan was invited for the first time. One morning, Phil had whispered something to the others before proceeding to tell Dan to join them at his flat for movie night.

 

Dan was fully aware that this invitation was not to be taken lightly. The band was known for being very private and not letting anyone in. This was clearly a test: he had gotten the spot for the opening act, but he was not _in._ Even if they were going to be touring the UK and a few other places in Europe together, it didn’t mean they had to hang out with him.

 

He, somehow, had managed to pass the first test without even being aware of it and had gotten a contract to be the opening act. The second test had been singing to them live, without any way to cheat on his voice or his piano skills, and he had exceeded that one as well. Surprisingly, that meant they respected him, at least musically, which warmed Dan’s heart because Coffeemania was one of the few bands with integrity. When they played live they never did playback, they wrote their own songs and despite their fame, they were still very down to earth. They were generally good and talented people.

 

Inviting him along to something as special to them as #friendsfirstfridays - yes, he _was_ a fan and wasn’t ashamed to admit it - also told him they at least weren’t put off by the personality traits he had shown so far.

 

He kept reminding himself of these facts in a futile attempt to calm down on his way to Phil’s flat.

 

When he reached his destination, he hesitantly approached the building door and anxiously opened his front camera to check his hair before actually ringing the bell.

 

“You don’t need to check, you’re definitely hot enough!” Troye smirked, popping up behind him to be in frame and snapping the picture. “You can post that one if you want,” he winked. He reached past Dan and rang the bell to Phil’s.

 

“Hello!” answered Phil in a purposely deep voice.  

 

“Open up old man, We’re freezing out here.”

 

“We? is Connor with you?” Phil questioned.

 

Troye grabbed Dan’s arm and leaned into him. “No, it’s Dan. We just ran into each other,” He smiled.

 

“Oh, ok... come on up,” Phil said setting the remote on the coffee table. For some reason, he regretted switching to the security camera system.

  


\----

 

The night was quite surprising but still fun. He fit right into the group.

They ordered Pizza and by Malinda’s suggestion they ended up watching “The Birdcage” and laughing uncontrollably over a huge bowl of popcorn.

 

After they depleted their snack selection, they decided to play board games and have a few drinks - or at least that was the intention.

 

The first few rounds of Pictionary were fun. By the time they were on the fourth round, Connor drew two boys kissing and Troye yelled “CHEATING!” which was correct, but that did not stop everyone from laughing until they could hardly breathe. Phil was sprawled on the floor clutching his stomach, Malinda was crying while simultaneously trying to fix her makeup, and Dan was making inhuman squeaking noises.

 

Troye crossed his arms and sank into the couch irritated by his friends and Connor just decided to capture the scene. They would decide if this was Instagram-worthy when they were all sober, as it was customary to avoid any mishaps due to poor judgement.

 

Having spent a few hours enjoying the company of the band, Dan noticed a few things. Firstly, Phil and Malinda, contrary to popular belief, didn’t act like a couple at all. She even exchanged a few messages with another guy right in front of her alleged boyfriend. And secondly, it was painfully obvious that Troye kept trying to get Connor’s attention with varying degrees of success. Obviously, Dan was _slightly_ more interested in the first piece of information.

 

Despite his rampant crush on Phil, Dan didn’t want to get his hopes up with him.

 

First of all, he needed to confirm that he wasn’t involved with Malinda in any capacity to avoid causing drama within the band, and if he wasn’t Dan needed to find out if he even _was_ single. He couldn’t imagine the idea of sharing Phil with anyone else.

 

It was at that moment that Dan realized how much he had let his mind fly. Rockstars were not known for their love of monogamous relationships and there was absolutely no indication that Phil even liked him back. Yes, he had made one or two flirtatious comments, but it was probably just part of his personality.

 

Or was it?

 

\-----

 

**@Coffeemania Our addition to #friendsfirstfridays just slotted right in with the dorks!**

_(It’s a picture of Phil’s living room, specifically the couch, captured from its right side. Phil himself is lying on his back in front of the couch, head nearest to the camera, laughing hysterically, clutching his stomach. Troye is sitting on the nearest end, pouting and with crossed arms. Malinda is trying to hold up a mirror with tears of laughter running down her face in sparkling lines. On the farthest, end there’s Dan, hunched over in laughter and mostly covered by Malinda and her mirror, again, almost completely unrecognisable. His feet, though, are quite obviously intertwined with Phil’s.)_

 

\-----

 

Dan’s wake up call after his unintended drunken nap did not go down as gently as he would have hoped. His head was already throbbing like a rock band was playing inside of it, bass turned up as far as possible, using his brain as a drum. Without even opening his eyes he could feel his world spinning. Blood was rushing in his ears and there was a sour taste in his mouth making him want to gag.

  
He didn’t even want to know how he would feel in the morning but, that was a problem for future Dan.

 

“Dan! wake up,” giggled Phil quietly as he tried to shake Dan awake.

 

“I’m awake, don’t shake me or I’ll redecorate your sofa,” he slurred back, his hand shooting up to clutch his forehead, his face scrunched up in a clear expression of great discomfort.

 

“Noooo, Don’t! I’ll make you clean it up. Do you want to stay and sleep on the couch?” Phil’s voice was giggly and careless. He probably was a bit drunk too, Dan assumed, just far less than the rest of them - or at least less than Dan himself and, surprisingly, Troye.

 

“I can call a cab and go home, don’t worry,” he whispered, gently rubbing his forehead, willing the pain to subside before he even dared to open up his eyes.

 

“You can stay. Mal left while you slept; she had a date. Connor and Troye are staying, right?” Phil was closer now than before, he realized, as a cold hand suddenly appeared on his forehead. It felt strangely comforting on his heated skin. The pain in his head magically lessened, just enough to slowly pry open his eyes.

 

At this specific moment, he didn’t have the brain capacity to process what Phil had said, it went right over his head, but in the morning, he would remember this the most out of all the things that had been said that night, and he’d start questioning what he had always assumed was a fact.

 

“Yeah, totally. I can’t move, you Connor?” murmured Troye from the opposite end of the couch, lying in a similar state to Dan, one arm slumped over his eyes and other arm hanging from the edge of the sofa.

 

Connor, who was seated on the carpet near the couch, looked up to Phil, seemingly ignoring Troye. Later, Dan would realize that his eyes had rested on Dan’s and Troye’s feet pressed firmly together. “No, I should go, I didn’t have that much to drink anyway.”

 

“Stay,” said Troye, blindly extending a hand in Connor’s direction. It connected with his shoulder, but before he could really lay his hand there Connor had already scooted over further away from him, causing Troye’s hand to fall down again.

 

“You are drunk, Troye, and I am leaving. I have a dog to feed. You stay here and share the couch with _Dan._ ” There was quite a bit of bitterness in his voice. Dan couldn’t comprehend where it had come from in his delirious state, but he just felt like the temperature in the room dropped suddenly, nonetheless.

 

Troye, who had let his arm fall from his eyes to observe Connor, looked hurt. Dan felt much more awake all of the sudden, he really didn’t want to stay in this atmosphere any longer. That feeling only grew stronger when he felt Troye’s feet rubbing against his own in a search for reassurance.

 

Phil’s eyes were fleeting between the three of them, halting for a moment on the middle of the couch were Troye’s feet were still rubbing against Dan’s.

 

Dan sat up, selfconsciously retreating his feet, but Phil’s face was already set in an unreadable expression. Troye’s look of hurt switched to Dan, but he didn’t pay it any mind, too focused on Phil.

 

“I should go as well, actually,” Dan slurred as he tried to get up, planning to get away from this uncomfortable situation as fast as possible. He failed miserably, landing on his hands and knees.

 

“You can’t leave like this, you are staying!” Phil stated firmly. He seemed to consider things for a moment, his gaze slowly switching from Troye, to Connor and back to Dan as he tried to get back on his feet.

 

“You can sleep with me, my bed is big enough that you won’t even notice I’m there. Troye can sleep on the couch, his tiny butt will fit right in, he is not as tall as we are. Is that ok, T?” Phil proposed.

 

Troye smiled at him softly in an unsuccessful attempt to mask his sadness. “Yes, I’ll stay here, but I get the fluffy blanket!”

 

Dan could still see the bitterness in Connor’s eyes when he left but at least he wasn’t frowning anymore.

 

A few minutes later, Dan felt like he was dreaming, but it unfortunately wasn’t a really pleasant dream with the way everything was spinning. He was in bed with Phil Lester, wearing one of his pyjamas and in his still slightly delirious state, he could have sworn at one point during the night he felt Phil tracing patterns on the palm of his outstretched hand.

 

He dreamt about a soft brush of lips against his, but it was more of a phantom sensation than something he could clearly identify as a dream. In the depths of his mind, he thought he heard someone crying too, but that was probably a dream as well.

 

He woke up feeling horrible. His head was pounding and there was a vile taste  in his mouth, but everything got significantly better when he finally opened his eyes to find a pair of blue eyes staring right back at him.

 

\-------

 

**@missmalindakat Came back from getting breakfast to this sight greeting me in the kitchen. The youth really can’t hold their liquor anymore. :p**

(There’s a picture of Phil’s kitchen bar, Troye and Dan sitting behind it, both with a mug of Coffee in front of them. Dan is bent over, his head resting on his propped up hand, so far only a mop of brown locks is visible, his features are completely obscured. Troye is in a similar state but he is looking up to the camera with half-closed eyes, pain visible on his features. Phil is standing to the side, a mug of coffee in his hands, laughing at the both of them).

 

After his first #friendsfirstfriday, Dan noticed himself slotting in better into the group with each passing moment. Connor still acted somewhat warily towards him from time to time, which he filed off as jealousy. He couldn’t do much against that, considering it was always Troye who flirted with him and not the other way around. But aside from that, the group pretty much accepted him as one of them, and he _revelled_ in it.

 

Without much flourish, the band had come up to him the following Monday morning while he was still rehearsing, proudly inviting him to every following get together, effective immediately. From that moment on, their relationship just skyrocketed. He spent nearly every waking moment with at least one of them.

 

He and Troye probably shared the least one-on-one time - aside from him and Connor - because Dan didn’t know how to handle the continuous flirting.

 

He still felt a bit cornered by Troye’s advances sometimes, a situation they always got spotted in, mostly by Phil sporting an increasingly tense expression that Dan didn’t know how to interpret.

 

He spent a lot of time with Phil, who he had just instantly clicked with, even aside from his still rampaging crush. They liked the same music, video games, movies; they both loved animes and Japan and the whole concept of them was just so _easy._ Dan felt himself falling into it more and more.

 

He even started to enjoy Malinda’s company quite a lot - at least after the enlightening _incident_...

 

While deciding on a movie during his second #friendsfirstfriday - a concept the whole group referred to in form of the hashtag, even in verbal conversations - they discovered a shared obsession for Disney movies. They realized there was one currently in the cinema they both wanted to see, but didn’t have anyone to go with - Phil would generally wait for the DVD when it came to emotional movies and Troye wasn’t really that interested - so they arranged to meet at the cinema the following day.

 

There was still quite a lot of time until they had to take their seats, so they decided to sit in the waiting area, talking and munching on popcorn.

 

Overall, the atmosphere was a lot more relaxed than Dan had anticipated. With all the time he had been spending with Phil and all the - sometimes voluntarily, sometimes unconsciously - flirting, he was sure Malinda at least had to feel some kind of resentment towards him. Sure, she had been texting another guy and had apparently been on a date - Dan hadn’t forgotten Phil’s words that night - but officially they were a couple and it _had_ to get some kind of negative emotion out of her - unless she didn’t consider him a threat because Phil wouldn’t be interested in him…

 

He felt remorse coursing through him at the thought, unsure of what to do with that information. But Malinda, unaware of his raging mind, unintentionally pulled him out of his thoughts.

 

“Damn, the fandom is going rampage,” she said, smiling mischievously at him like he was in some kind of secret that he, in reality, had no clue about.

 

He looked up, confusion written all over his face. Malinda held out her phone for him.

 

It was the picture the band (or, more specifically, Connor) had posted of their first #friendsfirstfridays with Dan. He hadn’t noticed his feet were intertwined with Phil’s until after he saw the picture. It had escaped him at the moment, probably because Phil’s touches were becoming so natural to him.  He didn’t feel that electricity running through him like he had at first; now they are a source or warmth and familiarity.

 

For a second, he was expecting Malinda to get mad at him - sure, they were just feet, but it looked far more intimate - instead, she scrolled, pointing to a few of the comments further down.

 

**@coffeesfan82 omgomgomg who is this guy and are his feet intertwined with Phil’s?? WHAT IS HAPPENING**

**@stanningmania omg wtf WHY DO I THINK THAT’S CUTE**

**@philinda43 what about #philinda??? SCARY**

 

She outright laughed while taking back her phone. “If you ever decide to go for it the fans would accept it in no time, see?” There wasn’t even a hint of antagonism in her voice, just giddiness and laughter.

 

Dan blinked, feeling lost for words for a second. He tried to hold it in, he really did, but in the end, he lost the fight against his big mouth and blurted out the question that had been hiding in his throat since he had caught himself unintentionally flirting with Phil. “Why doesn’t it make you mad?” he asked, purposefully avoiding Malinda’s eyes and closely studying the popcorn instead.

 

“Make me mad…?” Her voice trailed out and he risked a look at her face. She just stared back with a  questioning expression, obviously completely unaware of what he meant. Then, slowly, a look of understanding dawned on her features and before he knew it she started laughing.

 

“Oh god,” she gasped, already clutching her stomach, tears of laughter shining in her eyes,“Please don’t tell me you believe what I think you do?”

 

He just blinked wordlessly, trying to make sense of the situation. “Dan, we’re not dating. We never were. He’s like a brother to me and I am _not_ Cersei Lannister,” she clarified, the laughter still evident on her face. His eyes grew to about the size of saucers.

 

“What?” he asked, staring at her like a deer in the headlights.

 

She snickered again, the humour in her eyes told him he’d get made fun off for this for several months.

 

“We just tried to trick the fandom out of plastering a Phil and Troye ship everywhere,” she explained. “They are not dating, either,” she clarified when she saw his shocked expression.

 

“But all the tweets and Instagram posts…?” he asked.

 

Malinda just shook her head, still grinning. “The shippers were already there and we just poured some fuel to the fire to protect Troye. Which worked, obviously.” She snickered again. “That reminds me…” She tapped around on her phone for a while before holding it close to her mouth. “Hey, Phil, we need to remember clearing up our ship. My boyfriend is getting sick of it and Dan fell for it head first too.”

 

Dan found himself unable to add anything, completely stunned to silence, still staring at her face like it would provide an answer to all the questions currently clogging his mind.

 

“You’re free, go for it!” she assured him, grinning even wider than before, a hint of mischief in her eyes. “And the fandom would obviously not be against it, either.” Her phone was thrust into his hands again, a new set of comments regarding him and Phil on display.

 

From that point on, developing a friendship with Malinda was as easy as breathing.

 

\----

 

**@missmalindakat just cleared up a huuuge misunderstanding. Can already tell you guys we’ll be teasing him about it for the rest of the tour. Probably longer! :D Lesson of the day: don’t believe everything the internet says!**

_(It’s a picture of a table, two bowls of popcorn on it. On the other side of the table sits Dan, hunched over in an obvious facepalm, his face nearly completely covered by his hand and his brown locks hanging down from his lowered forehead.)_

 

\------

 

 **@missmalindakat date night! <3 notice how he wears band merch, trying to impress me ??? it’s working -.-  
**(there’s a table, obviously out of Malinda’s perspective. A blond man sporting a Coffeemania Shirt is sitting opposite to her, grinning at her happily. Her left hand is on the table, intertwined with his right one.)

**@biggestcoffeefan THIS IS SO CUTE OMG BUT WHAT ABOUT @AmazingPhil**

**@AmazingPhil HE THINKS IT’S SO CUTE TOO!! *-***  
  
  


_______

 

Over time, he had grown pretty close to Phil, but Troye still flirted with him at every chance he got ruining every semble of progress he had made with Phil because it resulted on Phil accidentally witnessing these encounters and treating Dan in a colder way.

 

That morning, Dan’s day started on a particularly bad note. Troye had been leaning into Dan in the dressing room when Phil had entered. He froze in shock for a moment before turning on his heels and leaving.

 

Dan still couldn’t place the look Phil had sent his way. He had tried making sense of it the next few hours, sending his mind into overdrive and distracting him during his rehearsal. It affected his performance and caused the producer to get angry and tell him it had been shit.

 

He couldn’t even disagree with him.

 

Dan sighed, gently placing his hands on the keys and playing a few cords. This was why he was so anxious to perform on stage - ‘ _what if something like this happened during a concert?_ ’

 

_‘I’m just… not good enough.’_

 

Phil pulled him from his thoughts. He hadn’t even heard the other man approaching, but suddenly he was _there_ , sitting next to him on his stool, excited as a child on Christmas. Dan eyed him warily for a second, confused by the cheeriness. “Phil?” he asked, somewhat cautiously, unsure of the other man’s intentions. “What’s up?”

 

Phil’s eyes were shining when he looked back at him. “Remember what you promised me on game night the other day? I finally have time! And you do too, obviously! So, can we do it? Now?” His grin was hopeful and wide. Dan had to fight the urge to grin right back, racking his brain for what the other man possibly could have meant.

 

Phil mistook the silence for hesitation. “Pretty please?” Dan’s gaze had drifted off while trying to remember, before understanding dawned on his face.

 

As the world got back into focus - His heart did a 180 in his chest. Phil was looking at him with puppy eyes in real life. _Fuck_.

 

He blushed hard, the expression on his face was that of a deer caught in the headlights. “O-of course,” it was a bit sad how proud he was for only stuttering once. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he shifted back towards the piano and started playing, willing the colour of his cheeks to get back to normal. He would not get lost in his mind imagining things. Phil could really get to him with that expression.

 

Instead, he started talking. “I think the piano is just something completely different, you know? Like, the guitar is like… an extension of your body. Something you need to _command_ , you need to tell it what to do and be especially clear with it. A piano is more… Like an animal. Or a child. It needs to be treated gently, smoothly. You know what I mean?”

 

He opened up his eyes, in full-on teacher mode now. He didn’t even realize he had managed to get Phil out of his thoughts by concentrating on feeling the piano under his fingertips. Later on, he would remember this moment and find it reassuring. Music was the key to channel and control his feelings for Phil.

 

Phil, already completely focussed on the lesson he was getting, nodded eagerly. He laid his hands on the keys and started to play.

 

It was still a bit ragged, static; too much walking and not enough floating.

 

For Dan, those were words completely made sense.

 

“No, no,” he said softly, gently laying his hands on Phil’s, caressing them with utmost mellowness, skidding closer to him without even realizing till their thighs were pressed together. “It needs to be more like… Waves.” He started playing a melody through Phil’s fingers, making them press the keys with just the right tempo and force. He could feel the black haired man’s gaze on his face as he played, but he stayed focused on the piano in front of him. He could freak out about this later.

 

Phil focused more on the piano, starting to move his fingers purposefully instead of just getting guided along, Dan lifted his hands. “Very good,” he whispered, smiling at the band member. “Now why don’t we just try playing a duet? You play the chords, I play the melody.”

 

Phil, still full of a drive that was nothing short of cute to Dan, nodded eagerly, tongue poking out between his lips as he concentrated.

 

He started playing and Dan was impressed when he realized the chords were F-Dur and A-Moll in a certain rhythm, going along perfectly with the melody he had started playing earlier.

 

And so they sat, quietly playing the piano. Dan’s melody got more precise and deliberate, less like a silly jingle, more like a song, with verses and refrains.

 

There were words running through his mind about how much he appreciated Phil, how precious he was, all focused and driven and how much the man already meant to him. When he looked up at him and into his eyes some of the words were falling into place. When the refrain came up he just started singing, no thinking, just feeling.

 

_“If your world falls apart, I’d start a riot. If night falls in your heart, I’d light a fire…”_

 

All of the sudden, Phil stopped playing and leapt up from the stool, a light in his eyes that made Dan’s breath hitch. “Keep playing, I’ll be back in a sec!” he shouted back to Dan over his shoulder, already halfway across the stage.

 

So Dan kept playing. When Phil got back, just a few moments later, he was carrying sheets of paper and a pencil. “We need to make this a song,” he said, taking back his seat right next to Dan, thighs pressed together, “This is amazing!”

 

They started writing. Less than a few hours later, they were done, happy and giddy and high on the sense of accomplishment. When they had finished going through the whole song the second time there was an applause behind them.

 

“That goes into the encore, guys!” shouted a voice from somewhere behind them and just that easily, it was settled.

 

\-----

**@coffeemania: Some serious preparations going on here! Those two have really clicked… You’ll love the product of this collab, or at least we do!**

(It’s a series of pictures, taken consecutively. The first one is taken from a place behind the piano, with two figures sitting in front of it. The left one is Dan, only back and occiput visible as well as his right hand, resting on top of the keys. Phil is to his right, facing Dan, looking at him in adoration, his left hand gently touching Dan’s. The series shows him facing up, turning around to the camera, a wide and obviously happy grin building on his face. The last one is a picture of Malinda and Troye standing beside each other, both clapping and grinning excitedly.)

  


____________

 

The week before the first show, Dan felt restless.  He was going out of his mind with anxiety, completely terrified that _Coffeemania_ ’s fans wouldn’t appreciate his music. It was even worse because he was a part of the fandom himself, he followed them on social media and ran a fan blog of the band on Tumblr. If they didn’t accept him, he would feel crushed by his own community. For nights, he dreamt that he forgot how to play the piano in ludicrous circumstances and lost his voice right before going on stage.

 

The days seemed to fly by. The countdown to the show had started to weigh heavily on his shoulders, and by the time the calendar marked 24 hours to the big day, he didn’t know what to do with himself. His insecurities were eating away the excitement for this amazing opportunity. He couldn’t believe he was even considering the option of quitting.

 

Opening for his favourite band was a dream come true, and here he was, feeling sorry for himself, doubting his every life choice. What had possessed him to start a music career when his self-esteem was so dependant on people’s opinions? What would Phil think of him if he left? It would not only destroy Dan’s reputation, but he knew for a fact that Phil would be heartbroken. Especially after inviting Dan into his friend group.

 

He paced around the backstage area feeling so agitated he could barely breathe, his throat closing up, making him feel like he was choking; he was on the verge of an anxiety attack. He needed to stop thinking or he would be sick, so he turned to his main source of comfort: the piano.

 

Taking advantage of the fact that most of the crew had left already, he sat on his stool breathing deeply for a few minutes, trying to calm his mind and his racing heart before he started playing without giving it too much thought. He let his fingers and subconscious take charge.

 

_“When you were here before_

_Couldn't look you in the eye_

_You're just like an angel_

_Your skin makes me cry_

_You float like a feather_

_In a beautiful world_

_And I wish I was special_

_You're so fuckin' special_

 

_But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo._

_What the hell am I doing here?_

_I don't belong here”_

 

A hand landed on his shoulder unexpectedly, making him jump. Phil was suddenly there straddling the stool right next to him, frowning. He cupped Dan’s cheek with his hand, making his heart swell, and wiped the tears Dan hadn’t noticed were falling from his eyes.

 

“What’s wrong?” Phil whispered, softly rubbing Dan’s cheek with his thumb.

 

Dan didn’t know what to answer, but it didn’t matter anyway, because as soon as he tried to speak, he clutched onto Phil and started to sob desperately. He let all the stress that had built inside of him out in that single cry. Once he had opened that door, there was no closing it.

 

There they remained until Dan had been able to stop crying, nearly half an hour later.

 

“You do belong here. With _us…_ With _me_.” Phil said looking into his eyes. He lowered his gaze to Dan’s lips and for a brief moment, Dan thought Phil was going to kiss him, but before he even had the chance to move in he was dragged towards the nearest exit by the hand.

 

“Where are we going?” Dan questioned.

 

“Home.”

____  
  
**@troyesivan Something’s happening tonight! A question might be answered. Are you excited??**

(It’s a picture of Dan’s Concert Grand Piano up on stage, illuminated by a set of spotlights)

______

Having spent so much time with Dan, the band realized pretty quickly something was wrong with him. He fiddled with his hair, his fingers, and his equipment, _a lot_. He insisted on his concert grand piano getting pitched three times even though it was perfectly in tune the first time. They theorized it was pre-show nerves, having experienced it themselves, and debated the best way to help him.

 

Malinda suggested they do a sleepover like they had done when they got their first big gig to avoid anyone freaking out and bailing.

 

Everyone had agreed it was the best way to support their new friend, but for that to work everything needed to be ready for the next day. Malinda was to make sure everyone’s clothes were in place. Connor was in charge of cooking a nice healthy meal and making sure they had breakfast supplies. Troye organized the entertainment, which included setting the karaoke, choosing a lighthearted movie in case they wanted to watch it and thinking of games that didn’t include much alcohol.

 

Phil had the most important job of them all. He needed to convince Dan to join them and keep him busy until then, especially with their big reveal happening at some point that night. They knew their fans were very… _intense_ at times. Phil had suggested they give them time to investigate Dan and his music in hopes of them being more supportive towards him. The key part of such plan included keeping the unsuspecting victim away from his phone to avoid him having a mental breakdown as he scrolled through his Twitter mentions.

 

To give everyone time to get things ready, Phil took Dan along on a walk. He suggested that they didn’t take the tube to his flat under the pretence to catch some air and clear their minds after their emotional morning. Dan was not fond of walking such a long distance, but he would never pass on a chance to spend more time with Phil, even if it meant exercising.

 

Dan walked beside him absentmindedly until Phil finally broke the silence. “Not much longer,” he smiled softly. “You will remember tonight forever, I promise. This is the night before the rest of your life,” he tried to reassure Dan.

 

“I seriously doubt it,” Dan said, avoiding his eyes.

  
____  
  
**@missmalindakat just a few more hours guys… Can you guess what’s about to happen?**  
(It’s the same picture as Troye’s taken from a slightly closer angle, there are two letters on the side of the piano but it’s too far away to undoubtedly make them out)  
  
___  
  


When they finally entered the flat, Dan was close to tears again. He felt so lucky to have met an entire group of friends who were so openly welcoming and caring.

 

“Come here, man. We are not going to let you freak out on your own,” said Connor, surprising Dan with a hug.

 

Then came Malinda’s and Troye’s turn.

 

“Thank you, guys. You are so amazing. Thank you for being so supportive and welcoming towards me. I’ve never really had close friends before,” he explained, overwhelmed by the entire scene.

 

“Is this a party?” he questioned, looking around, skimming over the beautiful decor and the snacks laid out on the table.

 

“Yes, a party of five” laughed Phil, giving him a one arm hug.

 

“Actually it’s a sleepover, hun. We used to have these back in the day to avoid pre-show freakouts. Is there a better way to welcome the Opening show than eating deliciously healthy food, a few desserts, having a rad karaoke session, and playing charades?” said Malinda.

 

“We have just one rule. Well, it’s not a rule. We just don’t have much alcohol in the house. It wouldn’t help anyone to have a hangover when you are required to be in a very loud place!” added Troye.

 

Connor went to the kitchen to finish dinner, closely followed by Troye, who had insisted on helping, even though the few things he knew about cooking were thanks to Malinda trying to make a functioning adult out of him.

 

Phil and Malinda just rolled their eyes knowingly and decided to set the table.

 

“Wait! I need to go fetch my clothes for tomorrow so I can stay and I also need to have a shower. I’ll be back in 2 hours, you guys start dinner without me,” Dan said patting his jeans’ pocket in search of his house keys.

 

“We already took care of everything. Your clothes are here, I picked them up today. I’m sure Phil won’t mind if you use his shower,” said Malinda with a gentle smile, a hint of mischief in her eyes at the double meaning.

 

Dan turned to Phil questioningly and found he was giving him a once over. “Let’s get you naked and wet, Howell,” he smirked.

 

At this point, Dan just decided not to let his mind linger on Phil’s flirtatious remarks. He needed to have some peace and quiet in the shower to relax his muscles. He would feel better to join the playful night ahead of him after.

Malinda went about setting the table while Phil guided Dan to the bathroom, with a set of 3 huge towels, a pair of pyjamas and another one of slippers. He mentioned Dan was welcome to use any of the toiletries on the counter and provided him with a new toothbrush. “You can change here or in the bedroom,” he smiled.

 

______

 

**@AmazingPhil Only a couple of minutes left...**

(Again the same picture of the concert grand piano, a closeup now, the letters DH clearly visible on its side.)

 

______

 

Dan hopped in the shower and let the hot water wash away his tension. He usually used the shower to think about life, but on this occasion he decided to do the opposite. He focused on his breathing exercises and washed away the sweat and tears.

 

Once he felt completely clean and relaxed he wrapped a towel around his waist, brushed his teeth and not knowing what to do with all the extra towels, he left them on the counter and exited the bathroom to change in Phil’s bedroom.

 

He did not expect to find Phil already in there, changing. He only allowed himself to take one good look at him. No picture Dan had ever seen of Phil did him justice. His back to hips ratio was absolutely unfair, his butt was round and just perfect and to Dan’s dismay, he had the most adorable hip dimples.

 

Setting the stuff he was carrying on the dresser, he made his presence known. “Sorry, you said I could change here,” he said, scratching the back of his head.

 

Phil turned around briskly, obviously not having expected someone else to enter the room. “I thought you would be a bit longer, sorry. I just needed to change into something more comfortable; skinny jeans look nice, but they are not comfy. I’ll leave you to it,” he said as he pulled some joggers on.

 

Dan felt his heart drop to his stomach when Phil put one hand on his waist on the way out and said “Come join us when you are ready” in a particularly husky voice.

 

Some would say Dan’s heart had actually dropped to his pants, but in his opinion that was debatable at best.

\----

 

While Dan was changing, the band had a little talk in the kitchen, behind closed doors. Their first step was taking Dan’s phone and turning all notifications off. Troye, encouraged by Mal, had managed to get his passcode by getting uncomfortably close to Dan on many occasions.

 

Just to be on the safe side they decided to take the phone as well. If he asked about it they would say they didn’t use their phones before the show to relax during the sleepover.

 

They had decided to reveal their opening act around 24 hours before the first show, giving fans the chance to listen to his music and be supportive the next day, while avoiding making Dan more anxious because of it. Besides, they learned from past experiences, it was better not to surprise their fans too much or they were bound to give everyone a hard time.

 

Connor had already set up the revealing post on his phone, but still showed it around, waiting for approval. When everyone had had a look, and he still didn’t click post Phil teasingly raised an eyebrow at him. “Come on. We’ve made them wait long enough, have we not?”

______

 

**@Coffemania: Everyone please give a warm welcome to our newest  #Friendfirstfridays member @Danielhowell who will also be opening our shows on this tour. Now, if you excuse us, we have a karaoke night ahead, followed by a sleepover! #FFF #Danielhowell #coffeemania #coffeemaniaopeningactconspiracy**

(It’s a set of 3 pictures, the first one of all of them playing Pictionary and laughing from their first FFF, the second one showing Dan and Phil playing Piano together during one of the encore rehearsals. The last is a picture of the living room, the snacks on the table visible as well as the karaoke machine hooked to the TV).

______

 

Malinda squealed in excitement. “They are going to love him!” She sighed, “Ok, we better get to the table now before he notices something is off.”

 

Dan joined them at the table only a few seconds later. He was surprised to see the variety of healthy food Connor had provided them with, it appeared he was a talented cook.

 

“Try the Caesar Salad, it’s the least healthy of everything here, but I made it,” Troye said, smiling proudly.

 

Dinner went without a hitch and after the amazing fruit smoothies they had as dessert, it was time for the Karaoke.

 

Mal opened the show with a beautiful rendition of “She will be loved” by Maroon 5 opting for using her guitar instead of the track.

 

She invited Troye to do the next song with her, ‘Run the world,’ but only after putting on a fluffy black vest and getting some golden highlight on her friend. “We wouldn’t dare to sing the queen’s songs without looking a bit extra,” she explained, grinning.

 

Up next was Dan, who wanted to sing ‘Summertime Sadness’ but was vetoed by, well, everyone. “This was not the time to be sad, we are here to celebrate. Pick something else” said Troye.

 

“But Lana is my muse. I love her!”

 

“Different song then,”  Phil encouraged him.

 

Dan thought back to the previous week, when he told his family he would be opening for his favourite band and his father had asked him how he managed to get it. He had felt the impulse to answer ‘Fucked my way up to the top’ just to call him out, but knowing his father, he would’ve probably taken it literally, so he had just shrugged in response.  

 

He made his choice and started singing, swinging from side to side.

 

“Life is awesome, I confess

What I do, I do best

You got nothing, I got tested

And I'm best, yes

Lay me down tonight in my linen and curls

Lay me down tonight, Riviera girls

 

I fucked my way up to the top

This is my show”

 

Dan let his body go with the flow of the music. letting his frustration pour into his voice. He received a standing ovation by his small audience and a few pats in the back.

 

“Interesting choice,” Phil smirked, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

 

“I just remembered my family doubting how I got to open for you guys and wanting to answer them like that.”

 

“Oh my god, please tell me you did,” laughed Troye.

 

“No, they would have taken it literally and I didn’t want them to think I got the job by sleeping with someone, mostly because I didn’t want to make the band look bad,” he explained.

 

“Please, people will think whatever they want no matter what you do. If someone questions your talent or how you got to open for us, feel free to answer with the song,” said Phil.

 

“I will take you up on the offer then!” Dan laughed and went to sit on the couch to watch the next performance.

 

“Where are you going? Come here. I’ll show you a real classic party song. No offence to Lana, we love her, but we need a bit more of … sex appeal around here,” Phil said, smirking and stretching his hand out to Dan.

 

As soon as the song started playing Dan laughed picturing Phil and him in skimpy air hostess outfits. The performance of toxic was a success, including part of the actual choreography and the boys circling each other around the “stage” singing in duet and only breaking eye contact to dance around.

 

The songs selected were as colourful as their personalities: ‘Green light’ by Mal and Connor,  ‘Vogue’ by Phil and Troye, ‘Mamma Mia’ by Phil, Mal and Connor, ‘Judas’ by Dan and Mal and ‘Edge of Glory’ by everyone to close the little show. They decided to watch ‘My neighbour Totoro’ before calling it a night to avoid being tired during their first show.

 

For the sleeping arrangement, they decided that throwing Phil’s mattress on the lounge floor and making an extension for it with blankets would be enough for all of them to sleep together.

 

When Dan woke up, he heard someone whispering his name and felt pressure on his shoulder, shaking him gently. He opened his eyes to see Phil, smiling softly while putting a finger on his lips. Dan frowned, unsure about the reason he should be silent, but Phil handed him a mug of coffee and grabbed Connor’s phone, snapping a picture of whatever was behind Dan.

 

He sat up and turned around to see what was happening. It was quite a cute sight. On the opposite end of the “bed,” Connor was breathing deeply with a soft smile on his face while his left arm enclosed Troye’s lanky body to him. Troye looked very comfortable with his face resting on Connor’s chest and his leg wrapped around his friend’s body. Dan hoped they could work out whatever was keeping them from making it official.

 

Phil and him joined Mal in the kitchen for a generous brunch. They agreed not to mention anything to the boys, considering their status seemed to be a sensitive topic and they didn’t want to stir the pot.

 

After everyone had eaten and felt completely awake, they decided to spend the afternoon playing Mario Kart, hoping they could keep the nerves away.

 

When the time came, they checked their bags to make sure that they had their show outfits and made their way to the Venue.

 

____

 

**@coffeemania Heading to the venue of our first show! We’re so excited! Promise us to show @Danielhowell some love tonight as well, please.**

(It’s a selfie of the 5 of them in a car. Connor is driving, Troye on the front seat, grinning cheekily at the camera. Malinda, Phil and Dan are perched together on the back row, a wide grin on their faces, eyes shining with determination.)

 

____

 

Dan was a nervous wreck before going on stage for the first time. He had no idea how the fandom would receive him, especially considering he wasn’t particularly famous himself. The sleepover had definitely helped to calm him down, and he had managed to sleep fairly well through the night, but now he felt like not even valerian root tea would be able to help.

 

He stood right in front of the curtains he had to step through onto stage. He could hear the crowd screaming just a few meters away, going wild when they noticed the light getting dimmer by the second. He took a deep breath. Just a few more seconds.

 

Practically out of thin air, the band was behind him, hugging him, telling him to break a leg; and suddenly there was a burst of courage surging through him, and he knew he would be fine. He held eye contact with Phil’s piercing blue eyes until he had to step through the curtains, the band waiting behind it was like a bastion of calm.

 

\----

 

His performance went incredibly well. A few mishaps here and there; he nearly messed up the order of his songs once and missed a note in a solo, but nothing of importance aside from that. The fans received him even better than he had dared to hope, even singing along to a few of his songs, with a lot of screaming when he talked. A few had mentioned him on the posters they were holding up - he could’ve been sure one even said #Phan, but he was definitely imagining things - which made Dan realize the band must have revealed him sometime earlier, even if he wasn’t sure how he hadn’t noticed that. He had notifications turned on for all of their social media after all.

 

The band went on a little while later. He was able to talk to them for a short few sentences, wishing them luck, but after that he was alone in the resting room backstage, a big flatscreen TV showing what happened on stage.

 

For him as a fan, it was an amazing experience and an amazing concert overall. The rush of being on stage slowly faded out of his system and he was able to enjoy the show, sitting back on the couch while sipping on a coke before he had to get ready to get back on stage for his encore duet with Phil.

 

The work the band had put into it was clearly showing in the concert, it was well thought out, the songs in an order that gave the fans time to rest in between. They looked like they belonged there on stage, cracking jokes with the fans and having them sing along.

 

When they went back on stage for the encore Dan got up to wait behind the curtains to be ready for his cue.

 

He hadn’t expected what happened before though.

 

The band had just finished their third encore song, meaning they were supposed to welcome him back on stage with not much more than his name, but instead they took time to talk to the fans.

 

“How did you enjoy the night so far?” He was sure it was Phil asking, even if the speakers contorted their voices from where Dan was standing. The fans screamed and the band chuckled. “Good, good! We’re glad,” this time Malinda was talking. “And how did you guys like our opening act, Daniel Howell?” A lot of screaming again and Dan’s eyes almost fell out of their sockets at that. All of that - for _him_?

 

“He’s really good, isn’t he?” Troye chuckled at Phil’s inquire.

 

“Yeah, you can believe Phil, when he says that. He _knows_ .”

“Oi!” Dan blushed even backstage. How was Phil able to handle this in front of thousands of people? “Boys!” Malinda called them back in order. “Anyways, if you follow us on Instagram, you’ll know Troye and me were the lucky witnesses of something historical.”

 

“Yes! Because believe it or not, Dan and Phil actually wrote a song together! Isn’t that amazing?!” The crowd lost it at that. There was screaming and squealing that didn’t seem to fade out for minutes. “Okay, okay, you seem to like that idea. Do you maybe - want to hear it?”

 

They didn’t give the fans much time to react. “Then welcome back with us on stage… Daniel Howell!”

 

And suddenly he was there, up on stage with the band, grinning so wildly, he was sure his muscles would still be hurting next morning. Malinda and Troye were smiling at him, giving him a high five when he moved past them. His piano was sitting in the centre of the stage again, where the crew had put it back after the main part of the concert was done.

 

Phil was already sitting on the stool in front of it, waiting for him, smiling up at him with his eyes shining so brightly, Dan was sure he’d drown in them.

 

It took him some time to recover his senses.

 

“Hi guys,” he greeted the fans for the second time that night, grinning madly when they screamed in response. He wasn’t sure if he really saw many of them holding up their phones. It was probably just his mind playing a trick on him.

 

“We hope you’ll like this song. It means a lot to us,” Phil said, smiling at him like no one else was in the room. A warm feeling ran down his spine and he had to suppress a shudder. “It does,” he responded quietly, completely lost in the depths of Phil’s eyes and unaware of his surroundings for a second. All of this felt like a dream to him, a dream he never wanted to wake up from.

 

 _Does it feel like this every time?_ He tried conveying the question only through his eyes, and Phil seemed to understand.

 

 _It does_ , was what Dan got back with a slight nod, eyes still sparkling in the stage lights.

 

His heart did a somersault in his chest.

 

The crowd was still screaming, but it had faded into the background somewhere, that’s how focused he was on Phil in this surreal experience. “Well, let’s get started then.”

 

And they did. Throughout the whole song, they held each other’s gaze and Dan just… forgot he was on stage. They were singing and playing it. It all felt so surreal and incredible, he was sure he was flying, floating in the sky with nothing but Phil and his piano by his side. And he found that he really didn’t need more than that.

 

The cheering and screaming were deafening when they were done. They stood up and hugged. Suddenly, the rest of the band was there, just one giant ball of friends, hugging and getting hugged. Dan was sure that was what happiness felt like.

 

When they finally got backstage they were solemnly running on adrenaline, or so it seemed. The next hour was a rush of celebration and congratulations, they were rushed into makeup to get theirs removed, then shoved into the resting room to relax while the crew took care of the rest.

 

Suddenly, they were alone, three exhausted, but happy faces smiling back at Dan when he let out a disbelieving laugh. “Did that really just happen?” he asked, eyes wide as he looked around to the others.

 

“You were all amazing,” Malinda complimented in response, eyes resting on Dan for a second. “I’m really happy you’re our opening act.” Her voice was laced with genuinity and he had to stifle a sob when he saw Troye and Phil nodding enthusiastically out of the corner of his eyes. Phil, who was sitting on an armchair directly next to him, squeezed the hand Dan hadn’t realized he was holding. “Thank you -”

 

He got interrupted before he could get into the speech he had planned somewhere in the back of his mind. “That was amazing, guys!” Connor burst into the room energetically.

 

“The fan response is incredible!” The melancholic mood in the room faded and all four were back to their happy selves, smiling idiotically in some kind of aftershow-bliss.

 

“What about Dan?” Troye asked, grinning up at Connor, still high on adrenaline. Connor’s eyes were tinted with the hint of something shining that Dan couldn’t comprehend in his almost drunken state. “They loved him!” The band moved to grin and congratulate him and Dan felt so full of happiness, he was sure he would just _burst_ any second now.

 

“And get this!” Connor called the attention back to himself. They were all staring at him for a second while he grinned back, teasing them. “Someone recorded _Start a riot_ and uploaded it to Youtube.” The band including Dan raised an eyebrow in perfect synchronicity. That couldn’t be all.

 

It only took a second until Connor burst out with the truth.

 

“#Phan is trending on Twitter.”

 

 _This is it_ , Dan thought. _I’m going to explode of happiness._

 

Instead, they all erupted into laughter.

 

\-----

 

**@coffeemania Thank you to everyone who celebrated the start of our tour with us in #Manchester! We couldn’t have wished for a better one! It was an incredible night!!**

(It’s a picture of Dan, Phil, Malinda and Troye on stage, standing in a line, arms around each other, all grinning widely. From the angle the picture is taken from, slightly from above, a part of the crowd in front of the stage is visible as well.)

 

\--------

 

Life on tour was eventful, to say the least. Even though the dates had been very well planned to allow them a few days of rest here and there. After the second month on the road, the stress of performing several shows a week and moving to a different city was catching up to the group. On stage, everything remained the same. The crowd had the power of infusing them with energy every single night, even though there were conflicts between them, they would never let them affect their performance.   

 

One fateful afternoon, while the rest were in makeup, Dan decided to play the Piano to avoid overthinking and Troye offered to join him. Dan could tell he was not having a good day, so he played something soothing for them both. When he finished the piece, he turned to Troye and found him sprawled on a bench with his eyes closed and tears streaming down his face.

 

“Hey, T, what’s wrong?” He stood up from his stool, silently approaching the seemingly sad man. “You can talk to me, you know? I’ve been told I’m a good listener. What’s been bothering you?” Dan asked, sitting down beside him and putting his hand on Troye’s.

 

“He won’t give me a chance and it breaks my heart. Sometimes I think he might love me back but he refuses to talk about us,” Troye answered with a trembling voice.

 

“I presume you are referring to Connor,” Troye nodded, his eyes still closed. “ You guys seem to care a lot about each other, is there a reason he doesn’t want to take things further?” Dan questioned.

 

“That’s the thing. If he had said no or rejected me openly, I would have my answer, but...  he is always so sweet to me, so caring,” Troye sat up facing Dan, “He holds my hand sometimes, or plays with my hair, he tells me I’m beautiful, he kisses me. But then he just distances himself from me. He reminds me we are friends. He says we can’t be together because it would ruin our friendship, and that I’m too young and immature, maybe in the future. I can’t take it anymore. I feel like I’m losing my friend and my boyfriend altogether,” Tears shined in his eyes and Dan felt a cold shiver running down his spine on the thought that somewhere, in another timeline, that could be him and Phil. Not that he was much better off in this one. Time had only confirmed his growing feelings for Phil - but also that the feelings were most probably not reciprocated.

 

Every time Dan felt like he was finally getting somewhere with Phil, when there was more lingering touches, fond smiles or even cuddling, Phil would push him away and act more distant towards him. At first he thought that Phil would eventually ask him out or that they would naturally progress into something more than a friendship, but now he just wasn’t sure anymore.  

 

“That sounds absolutely horrible,” Dan said, “Maybe you should consider putting a stop to it? Everything beyond friendship I mean. - if you want to at least keep him as a friend and also preserve your feelings. Maybe it would be better to move on, you know?” He sighed and continued, “I have feelings for someone who doesn’t care about me that way as well and that’s what I’m planning on doing. I’m going to move on, and maybe I’ll meet someone who does.”

 

“Who would want me? I’m damaged goods,” Troye asked staring into Dan’s eyes with a conflicted expression.

 

“Don’t say that, you are an amazing person, beautiful and talented.”

 

“You think I’m beautiful?” Troye whispered, his eyes travelling from Dan’s eyes to his lips as he closed the distance between them.

 

Dan was surprised, but kissed back nonetheless, in an attempt to sooth his own pain. The kiss was infused with the intensity of their broken hearts. They wanted to forget, to lose themselves in each other and, for a brief moment, they achieved it. Troye held to Dan’s curls tightly as he slid closer to him, not breaking the kiss. Dan accommodated him in an instant, putting his hands on Troye’s hips.

 

They broke apart gasping for air, seeking out each other’s eyes almost immediately, questioning. They were unsure of what to make of this - they would definitely need to talk about it. The last thing Dan wanted was to add salt to Troye’s wounds.

 

Given the circumstances, it was not surprising neither of them saw Phil watching them, frozen in shock before hurrying away.

 

They agreed on the fact that it felt wrong in so many ways and that it definitely didn’t do them any good, therefore promising each other not to do it again.

 

They decided to join the rest of the band in the main dressing room and wait for their turn in the makeup chair.

 

___

 **@Danielhowell: Being here still seems surreal. Thanks to everyone supporting me already, you are golden!**  
(It’s a selfie of Dan in front of the mirror getting his makeup done. Behind him, the band is talking about something excitedly, Phil is noticeably absent.)

____

 

Throughout Phil’s life, it had been clear pretty early on that he was not as affected by bad things as others. Not because he didn’t care, but because he had always been particularly good in seeing the bright side of things.

 

This time, there was nothing good about it. This time, it smacked him right in the face, he lost the ground beneath his feet and he could feel his heart getting ripped out of his chest and shattering into a million pieces.

 

He had half a mind to turn around and get away without making his presence known. Even though he wanted them to know. He wanted to cry and scream and loudly ask both of them what the fuck they thought they were doing.

 

He could feel the shards of his broken heart drilling themselves into his chest when he moved around the next corner, and stumbled into an empty room where he broke down.

 

The room was mostly dark, but he was able to make out some outlines, so he stumbled over to the next best flat surface, sliding down till he sat on the ground, his back pressed up against it. Why? Why _him_ ? Why _now_?

 

Things between him and Dan had been going so good, not only their friendship, but also their … _more_ than friendship. They had been flirting, Phil knew. He could feel it coming back to haunt him now, show him all the times he had made a flirty comment but Dan hadn’t responded with one back.

 

He just - never would’ve thought it was like this. Of course he had seen the way Troye had watched Dan when he wasn’t looking, had witnessed Troye flirting with him. But he also thought he had seen Dan retreating, flinching back from physical contact, opposed to whenever he was touching Phil, where he would lean in and unintentionally seek out more.

 

Had it all be _a lie_?

 

He raised his head from his knees, registering somewhere in the back of his mind he had stumbled across an empty storage room. Oh, how much he just wanted to go back. Back before he had seen this happening, or, better even, back to a time before he had gotten to know Dan on a more intimate level.

 

Before he had fallen in love with him.

 

His breath hitched and without an shadow of a doubt, he knew it was true. His broken heart screamed in agony about what _could have been_ , showing him pictures of him and Dan, giggly, happy; of them kissing and just… being together. It hurt like a dull, rusty knife in his chest, getting turned around repeatedly. Every new picture brought a new round of pain. Phil didn’t know how long he would be able to endure this torture his mind had trapped him in.

 

He wrenched his phone out of his pocket hastily, trying to distract himself, but after half a minute on social media, he couldn’t help but feel the bitterness seeping in.

 

He went through his twitter mentions. The amount of tweets where he and Dan both featured was overwhelming. Every single one of them was a new stab in his chest. #Phan was trending on Twitter again, for god’s sake; how were so many people obsessed with something that had only been a lie?

 

He switched over to Instagram to sulk over the fandom’s reaction there.

 

Ever since he and Malinda had officially aborted the relationship train there had been an increasing amount of replies to the pictures featuring him and Dan. After the revelation, people went back to those pictures, now using #phan in the replies.

 

They had picked up on the fact he and Dan had their feet intertwined in the first ever post they had made featuring Dan. They had picked up on the way his eyes would light up whenever he looked at Dan, that there was some sort of adoration in his eyes - an adoration they couldn’t find in Troye’s.

 

They had picked up on the fact that whenever Dan and Phil were in frame together, they were right next to each other, touching, or even pressed together.

 

Maybe it was the bitterness winning when he clicked on the #phan tag. It led him to a whole bunch of posts regarding him and Dan, everything was analyzed and reposted, there were fan edits and fanart and Phil had new tears forming in his eyes. People were going after this with so much love and adoration. It restored his heart but also destroyed it into a million pieces in an instant.  

 

He couldn’t help but think back, back to all the times something ship-worthy had happened and neither Instagram nor Twitter had been there to witness it. How nervous he had been when he had met Dan for the first time, the new opening act he definitely was not supposed to be attracted to, but definitely was. How in sync they had been writing their song. How Phil hadn’t been able to resist caressing Dan’s hand in the night of his first FFF. Or how he freaked out the day of their sleepover when he had seen Dan wearing only a towel, his curly hair falling to his eyes, water dripping down his chest. He had been able to see the muscles on his arm flexing as he scratched his head and that there were love handles that Phil had not been aware of. He could remember staring creepily, only able to stop staring because he had to blink, with how dry his eyes had become.

 

In that exact moment, he had known the boy would be the end of him one day. And he had been right.

 

He just hadn’t thought that day would come so soon.

 

He sighed shakily, turning to stare up into the darkness of the room, head resting against the surface behind him. He sighed shakingly, new tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He was only just realizing how important Dan had become to him, how much he meant - how much Phil Lester felt for Dan Howell. Only now, when Dan was ripped away forcefully from him by none other than his yearlong friend.

 

He sighed again. It was yet another ship-worthy thing the fans were not aware of. _The phandom would go rampage if they knew,_ he thought, a sole tear sliding down his cheek.

 

Life was cruel.

 

\-----

**@AmazingPhil You come too late to make-up one time and this is what you find…**

(It’s a picture of the dressing room, specifically the mirrors. Connor is sitting on a stool in front of them, eyes closed, his face completely covered in makeup put on completely incorrectly. Malinda, Troye and Dan are perched in front of him, holding different makeup tools, smiling at each other devilishly.

 

\----------

 

Despite his conflicting feelings, Phil decided to go along with Friday’s plans as usual. It was rare when the FFF was cancelled. It had only happened twice due to mental health issues on Troye’s and Phil’s parts. He would rather not think about those darker times.

 

It was just his luck that Malinda, Troye and Connor all had plans. Mal had her boyfriend over for the entire weekend before the band left the country for the next two months. Connor said he was not feeling well, which was an understatement if the dark circles under his eyes were anything to go by. Troye just reported he couldn’t make it. Phil assumed he was having one of his classic arguments with Connor, or maybe he was having problems with Dan; at this point, he didn’t want to think about it.

 

He felt torn between cancelling to avoid being alone with Dan in his hotel suite and still wanting to spend time with him. On one hand, they had become good friends and on the other, his feelings for Dan were driving Phil insane. He felt a pang of sadness in his chest, being caught between two of his friends, trapped between jealousy over Troye, who had run right into Dan’s open arms, and heartache over the man he couldn’t have; the one who had chosen someone else over him.

 

He shook his head. He had decided a long time ago that he wouldn’t let anyone or anything keep him from happiness. It had taken him a long time to reach this level of stability. He loved and appreciated all of his relationships, his friends, his family, every single one of them, but he knew that the only person essential in his life was himself. Sometimes, that meant retreating from people emotionally. He wouldn’t hesitate in pulling away from Dan, to keep him at arm's length to avoid getting hurt and destroying his group of friends. The Troye/Connor Drama was already a hinder to them as friends and as a band.

 

He heard a knock on his door. Today would be the first day of him and Dan being only friends. No more flirting, no more lingering touches, no more extra attention. He took a deep breath before letting it out in a long sigh, and opened the door for his guest.

 

He put on a brave smile. “Welcome to my humble abode. Please, enter,” he bowed comically and stepped aside to let Dan in.

 

“Thank you, thank you, my good sir,” Dan laughed. “So, what are we watching today? Where are the others?”

 

“Mal has her boyfriend over so we won’t be seeing her for the next three days.” He winked. “Connor is feeling ill and T just said he couldn’t make it.” He shrugged.

 

“Oh, too bad. Do you think Troye is ok?” Dan questioned.

 

“I think so. He didn’t mention anything being wrong, but in any case you could ask him yourself,” Phil regretted that comment the moment he said it, especially the slightly bitter tone. He should try to be civil, that had been the plan.

 

Dan didn’t appreciate Phil’s tone but if _he_ could be petty Dan could _too_. “I will text him later,” He smiled sweetly. “Maybe I should leave. If no one else is joining us, then I guess we can just watch a movie next Friday,” he stated almost coldly.

 

As suspected, Phil had aggravated Dan. He felt horrible; this was not the way to treat a friend, he needed to make this work for them. “No, please. Don’t leave. I was really looking forward to just hanging out, even if it’s just the two of us,” he requested.

 

He sighed, “Ok,” and giving Phil a tentative smile, he continued: “What are we watching?”

 

“The Conjuring!”

 

“Ok, I take it back. I’m leaving,” he joked.

 

“Come on, Danny. Don’t worry, I promise I’ll protect you from the horrible demons.”

 

“You better, if I get murdered you’ll need a new opening act on a very short notice!”

 

“It’s ok, we’ll put a fluffy, curly wig and huge heels on Connor so he can pass as you. He’ll pretend to play the piano and we’ll play your songs.”

 

“I hate you,” he said, meaning exactly the opposite. Then, he settled on the left side of the bed, muttering about horrible friends who think he can be replaced so easily.

 

\----

 

Dan wasn’t a fan of horror movies, but he found them fairly tolerable with the right company. He had never gotten around to seeing this movie even though it had been out for years now, but he thought it wouldn’t be that scary. He considered most horror movies more horrifying in the acting or execution than the actual plot.

 

He had been _very_ wrong. The fear of the paranormal that sometimes seeped into his mind was in full rage tonight. He had inadvertently started to move closer and closer to Phil every time there was a jumpscare. By the time a pair of hands crept behind one of the main characters in the dark and clapped, his thighs were right beside phil’s. The sudden appearance made him scream and left his stomach up in knots. He started fidgeting so much that Phil asked him if he wanted to stop, but he refused, terrified, yet curious as to what was going to happen.

 

Phil wrapped one arm around him and softly rubbed his shoulder in an attempt to keep him calm. It worked to some extent. Dan felt secure in Phil’s hold and his mind kept focusing on the thumb currently caressing his skin right were his short sleeve ended, finding its way underneath the fabric just a little.

 

He turned to Phil, mesmerized by the beauty of his features lit only by the glow of the tv screen across the room. He was so close he could smell his aftershave. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

 

Phil realized Dan was very still, no longer reacting to the movie in any way. He risked a sideway glance and noticed he was being watched. He waited a few seconds and turned to him. He was slowly opening his eyes, giving him an intense look that made him feel hot, like there was a fire igniting inside of him.

 

It was Dan who leaned in first, closing the distance between them, slowly moving his lips against Phil’s. Phil kissed back without even a hint of hesitation. This moment between them was all he could think of. He had wanted to kiss Dan on so many occasions and he had never felt like it was the right time, but at this particular moment he had no doubts in his mind.

 

They kissed for a long time, sliding to a laying down position, movie completely forgotten. They tasted each other’s lips, smiling, holding each other close without crossing the barrier of taking it further. For some reason, it didn’t feel right to continue down that path until they had discussed things.

 

Turning the tv off, they settled down to sleep still cuddling.

 

\----

**@Danielhowell Enjoying the free night with a movie!**

(It’s a picture of the TV, taken from the bed. In the shine of the illuminated screen two pairs of legs are visible on it, a bag of popcorn between their legs.)

 

\---

 

The next morning was eventful to say the least. Dan woke up alone in a cold bed that wasn’t his own, and felt his stomach drop. To him, it was obvious Phil regretted kissing him and felt too awkward to have that conversation. Maybe he didn’t find the best way to put him down gently.

 

As tears started falling, he thought of staying in bed feeling sorry for himself, but then he realized it was best to leave before Phil returned. A little part of him hoped that Phil had left for another reason, that he wasn’t being dumped like a bag of trash, but that thread of hope he had broke when he grabbed his phone from the nightstand.

 

Message from Phil:

I’m sorry.  

 

Down at the hotel restaurant, Phil was drowning in a sea of guilt, jealousy and sadness. He couldn’t believe how stupid he was the previous night. He wasn’t thinking. He had kissed Troye’s apparent fling, who also happened to be his friend.

 

He had ruined everything. He wanted nothing more than to go to bed and sleep for a week, but they had a show on Monday. Two days of hiding would have to be enough. He still had no idea of what he wanted to tell Dan, but he needed to apologize to him. It was true that he hadn’t been the one to initiate the kiss, but he had returned it.

 

Come to think of it, anger starting rising within him, joining the turmoil of emotions. Why had Dan kissed him? Wasn’t he dating Troye? Weren’t they exclusive? It didn’t matter, if they were into that kind of stuff, Phil definitely wasn’t. He was not willing to share Dan with anyone. What was Dan playing at? cheating on Troye with his friend.

 

He really didn’t want to believe that Dan was a bad person, but things were pointing in that direction. He shouldn’t have risked their friendship like that. Phil had purposely flirted with him but only until the point where he knew his friends were involved. Last night had been a slip up. In any case, it needed to be discussed. Monday would be their D day.

 

Message to Dan:

We need to talk. Let’s have lunch on Monday.

 

Message from Dan:

If you have something to say why don’t you just say it now?

 

Message to Dan:

I don’t want it to come out the wrong way. I need to think.

 

Message from Dan:

Worse than leaving without a word? ha-ha. Whatever, Phil. Also, I’m in my room, so you can go hide in yours whenever you feel like it.

 

Phil felt even worse than before. The anger he had felt before had vanished, leaving only a deep aura of sadness. Dan hated him, and even if he currently didn’t have the best opinion of him either, he still loved him. Once he got to his room, he climbed into bed, covered himself entirely and curling into a ball where he wanted to remain until Monday morning.

 

\------

**@AmazingPhil A wise lady once told me a lonely breakfast is a sad breakfast.**

(It’s a picture of a table, one mug of coffee and one plate filled with pancakes on top.)

 

\---------

 

Dan spent most of his Saturday walking down the beach. The sound of the ocean and feeling of the sand beneath his feet helped him to calm down quite a bit. Unfortunately for him, it didn’t eradicate the sadness and confusion he felt. He tried his best to keep his mind from reliving the events from the previous night. What could he have possibly done to make Phil reject him in such a cruel way?

 

They had been flirting since day one and even though nothing had happened between them, they had formed a close friendship over time and at times it seemed Phil had really been interested in him. Other times, he acted differently, almost cold towards Dan.

 

Come to think of it, at the beginning of the tour everything looked perfectly fine between them. Something must have happened to cause this. Not only had he acted hot and cold towards Dan, but when he arrived at his bedroom, he had even been a bit aggressive towards him. That had not only been hurtful, but very out of character to the person he had thought Phil was. Had all of this been a mistake? Had he placed his trust and feelings in the wrong person?

 

Dan stopped walking to look over the sea. Past the turmoil of the waves crashing onto the shore, the water was calm, it almost seemed to be still. He wondered if he was going to be able to get past the troubling times. He took his phone out of his pocket to check the time and smiled. He had received a message from Troye asking him to come to his bedroom to talk about stupid men and stuff their faces with snacks.

 

\---

 

When Troye opened the door, Dan noticed he looked calmer than he had seen him in a long time.

 

“Wanna sit on the balcony and enjoy the last of the sun rays, or should we just hang out on the bed?” Troye asked pouring some tea for both of them.

 

“I think I’ve gotten enough D vitamin for the day, thank you,” he laughed.

 

“Is that so?” Troye smirked “Do tell.”

 

“No, not that. I _wish!_ ” he sighed.

 

“What happened, I thought you two were supposed to be alone last night and everything would finally sort itself out.”

 

“Not at all. I’ll tell you all about it, but I would rather you tell me what’s up with you first, before I give myself a headache talking about my problems. Did you really stay in to give me time with Phil or did something happen?” Dan said, sitting cross legged on the bed.

 

Troye placed the tray between them. “Here’s your Lime tree tea. Drink, we’ll need it,” he sipped carefully and placed the cup down, “I needed to think, but I also thought you guys would appreciate the alone time” He sighed.  “I’ve realized you were right. I’m gonna have one last upfront conversation with Connor and if he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me, then whatever we have will be over. I feel much better now that I know what I want to happen with us, I can’t handle the constant doubting and back and forward attitude,” he said softly.

 

Dan thought about it for a moment and said “Would you still be friends with him? How do you think that would work?”

 

“Oh yeah, obviously, I _love_ Connor in more ways than one. I would never stop being his friend. It would be just one layer less in our relationship. I know it would be hard, probably more for me than for him, but we’ll work it out. _Friends first_ , you know?”

 

Dan gave him an encouraging smile “I’m glad that you know what you want. I think it’s the right thing to do. I’m actually in the same place with Phil” he sighed, looking out over the balcony.

 

“What happened last night? I really thought this was the last push you guys needed”

 

“Not at all, I had been in his room for about a minute before he started being passive aggressive with me. He apologized immediately, so I let it go.  I thought everything was going great, except for the fact that I was constantly about to die from a heart attack with that damn movie.”

 

They both laughed, “But anyways, I got very distracted by Phil’s face and I might have been staring and when he looked at me we just kissed… a lot,” he blushed remembering exactly how much they had kissed.

 

“Wait, that’s awesome! What happened? What did he do? and who kissed who? Who started it?” Troye said leaning forward in anticipation

“Well, I think I went in first, but he met me halfway and we made out for half of the movie maybe. Anyways, the important part is that it was amazing, I thought we were finally going to stop dancing in circles. We even fell asleep together, cuddling… aaaand today I woke up alone, the bed was cold, he was not in the room.”

 

“Wait, no. First of all, What the fuck? and second of all, did you actually have sex with him and totally skipped that part or…?”

 

“No!” Dan interrupted him. “We just kissed and fell asleep, nothing else. So this morning I waited like an idiot for a while, hoping that maybe he had gone somewhere and wasn’t just being an absolute moron to me, but I finally got dressed and right before I left the room I saw he had texted me,” Dan said angrily.

 

Troye gasped, “Noooo! What? What did it say?”

 

“Yes! I know, here,” he said handing Troye his phone with the conversation

“This is so weird. I would have never pictured Phil acting like this. Honestly, What is wrong with him?” he said shaking his head, making his curls bounce.

 

“I guess we’ll find out on Monday,” he shrugged.

“I guess we will.”

 

“Enough about them, you promised me snacks. Let’s think of the evil men no more,” Dan said theatrically.

 

“That’s right, my friend. Let’s eat ice cream until we are in a better plane of existence.”

 

“Let’s!”

 

\------

 

**@troyesivan Gossip bros!**

(It a picture of the table on the balcony, two cups of tea and two bowls of ice cream on top. The beach visible in the distance. Dan is almost completely cut off on the far left side of the picture.)

 

\-------

 

On Sunday, he had taken time to be alone and just think. He thought back to the day he met Phil in person. He cried as he remembered feeling butterflies in his stomach, not only because he was getting the opportunity of a lifetime, but he was also meeting his idol. Dan’s feelings for him had come such a long way. There had always been flirting, but they had managed to form a solid friendship nonetheless. That crush slowly turned to love the more he got to meet parts of Phil that were normally not on show. He was gone now, there was no doubt in his mind that if Phil rejected him again, it would be horribly hard to overcome that.

 

Surviving the weekend without a freak out had been easier than he had thought, if only because Troye kept him occupied with everything he could think of. Dan had gladfully accepted to try new things, watch movies, and just sing around with his friend. He found that now that he had decided what his situation would be like with Connor, he was much more enjoyable to be around. It felt like a big weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Dan wondered if this would be the case for him as well after today.

 

Message from Phil:

Do you want me to go to your room or do you want to come to mine?

 

Message from Dan:

I can go to yours. Just tell me the time.

 

Message from Phil:

Whenever you are ready. I’m here.

 

Message to Phil:

Coming now.

 

Phil opened the door letting him in. He looked unsure of himself. “Do you want to sit out on the balcony?”

 

Dan considered his options. He didn’t find the small armchairs in this hotel particularly comfortable, then there was the bed and the balcony. “Yeah, let’s go.”

 

They sat in the garden chairs that Phil had in his balcony. The view was amazing, looking over the beach. Phil cleared his throat “So…”

 

Dan didn’t know what to feel. He was nervous and mad, but also a bit amused at Phil’s uncertainty. He had arranged this after all. “Ok, I’ll start. I have something to say. Or something to ask, actually.”

 

Phil sat upright immediately, he knew he had acted like a douchebag, but he had not been ready for Dan to be so confrontational. “Ok, ask away,” he said.

 

“What happened on Saturday? You kissed me on Friday… for a long time. We slept together in the same bed, you cuddled me all night, and then you left without a warning or an explanation. What is up with _that_?” Dan had started the sentence in seemingly calmed nature, but by the time he was finished, it was very obvious this was not about to be a peaceful talk.

 

“Well… first of all, _calm down_. I want to have a mature conversation-”

 

“Do _NOT_ tell me to calm down. I am not a child, _Lester._ ”

 

“Well, don’t act like one if you don’t want to be treated like it!” Phil knew he shouldn’t have gotten into Dan’s game. He wanted to figure out his intentions and hopefully keep his friendship, but the look Dan was giving him could only be described as pure rage.

 

Dan stood up abruptly, consequently pushing his chair back with a horribly loud sound “You know what? -”

 

Phil stood up as well putting both of his hands up in a defensive manner “Wait. Please,” he searched Dan’s eyes for a sign of what to say next. “I’m sorry. Let’s talk…. _Please_?”

 

Dan looked over to the ocean, his chest seemed to deflate, making him look more defeated than angry. His voice trembled as he said “Listen, I don’t need this. The fact that I have feelings for you _does not_ mean I will let you walk all over me.”

 

Phil tried not to let the shock he felt show on his face. He had contemplated the possibility of Dan having feelings for him, but he had let that theory die because it had given him too much hope. Hope that would just crush him more in the end.

 

He felt like a horrible person, yet he was still confused about his own feelings. He really needed to know what was going through Dan’s mind and be sure about his intentions, to figure out how he truly felt about the possibility of them being in a relationship.

 

“Let’s sit down,” he said trying to make it sound like a suggestion rather than an order, he just wanted to talk. “I’m sorry that I keep saying the wrong thing over and over again. Please believe me when I say that I am _not_ doing it on purpose.” He took a deep breath, trying to put the words into the right order. “I’m just very confused about everything and that makes me act like a complete ass. Even if I don’t mean to hurt you.” He settled back into his chair.

 

Still exasperated with Phil, Dan said: “I’m glad that you realize you _are_ actually acting like an ass.” He sighed, “What is it that you find so confusing? Let’s put it all out in the open,” he crossed his arms and waited for Phil to answer.

 

“Okay, let me be perfectly honest. I can’t help but feel like you are playing with me and Troye, even though from all the time we’ve shared together, I feel like you wouldn’t do something like that. I just can’t put both together to form a cohesive personality,” Phil frowned.

 

Dan raised his eyebrows so high that they almost disappeared behind his curls. “Why would you think I’m playing with you? And what does Troye have to do with... this?” he said, gesturing between them.

 

Phil had really been hoping Dan wouldn’t lie or deny it. “I _saw_ you,” he said matter of factly.

 

“You saw what?” Dan frowned. Moments later, it dawned on him. ‘Oh, oooooohhh’

 

“You know ‘ _what’_! I saw you making out backstage with Troye. He was almost on your lap!” Phil felt his blood boil through his veins just by remembering that, “And what about all the fucking flirting all the time.”

 

“No, Phil. Wait. That was not-” he tried to interject.

 

“That was not _what_? that was not what it looked like? Because it did really look like you were almost about to shove your hands down his pants! And then you still kept flirting with me, and you kissed me!” he almost spat.

 

“Yeah! well you kissed back. If you were so conflicted _assuming_ I was fucking Troye then why didn’t you stop me? Some _friend_ you are,” Dan questioned him.

 

“Who said anything about fucking? and - wait. you …”

 

“What?” Dan said crossing his arms.

 

“ _Assumed_?”

 

“Yes! What kind of a person do you think I am?” he stood up and walked to the rail, leaning down on it.

 

“The kind of person that kisses my friend and then me, knowing what it could do to our friendship. You can’t deny that, I _saw_ it!” He pointed out, joining Dan in staring at the beach.

 

Dan looked at him, frowning to protect his eyes from the sunlight, “What you saw was a desperate attempt of two friends to get some sort of comfort because we were heartbroken. I’ll assume you didn’t stay and see that we both regretted it and apologized. Troye is trying to figure stuff out with Connor and I’m trying to see if you can take your head out of your ass and tell me how you feel.”

 

“I thought you…”

 

“Yes, I know what you thought, you already said so. Now you know you were wrong,” Dan huffed.

 

“Please, just let me say I’m _so_ sorry. I should have never doubted you… or at least I should have talked to you instead of assuming the worst. I feel so embarrassed,” Phil said, lowering his head for a second.

 

“Yes, you should have. But we gain nothing from _should’ve_ s and _would’ve_ s,” he sighed. “You know where I stand, I need to know where _you_ stand. What are _your_ feelings for _me_?” Dan said, forcing himself to keep the eye contact.

 

Phil put his hand on Dan’s. “I … nothing would make me happier than to be your boyfriend.”

 

Dan smiled, turning his hand around, interlinking his fingers with Phil’s. He was a little disappointed that Phil hadn’t said he loved him, but, admittedly, he hadn’t said it either. They had only met a few months ago, there would be enough time for that in the future.

 

“Okay, but… Can we just be with each other for a bit? Let’s keep it between us, take it slow and see where it leads us.” Dan said.

 

“Of course,” Phil answered, softness in his eyes as he gazed towards Dan. He took a breath then, deciding to lighten up the mood a bit. “Our first fight. Do you think we can have makeup sex?” he joked, his tongue slipping out the side of his mouth as he laughed.

 

“No. And now shut up and kiss me before I regret this!” he smiled leaning towards his now boyfriend. A shudder ran down his spine at the thought of referring to Phil as that from now on.

 

\-------

**@Danielhowell is this what beauty looks like?**

(It’s a picture of the sunset over the beach, taken from a balcony.)

 

\-------

 

When Tuesday arrived, Malinda felt refreshed and much more relaxed. Life on tour was both the best and the worst thing she had ever experienced. Thankfully, her boyfriend was very understanding and would visit her as often as he could. She loved her friends, but sometimes she just felt like she wanted to kill them all. It was beyond her comprehension how four gay guys could be perfectly matched into two sweet couples and somehow manage to screw things up. She had tried her best to talk to them individually but to no avail.

 

She went down to the hotel restaurant to have breakfast, hoping to find the rest of the band there, and find out what they had all gotten up to during the weekend.

 

The minute she walked in she noticed something was wrong. ‘Maybe not _wrong_ , but different,’ she thought as she noticed the different sitting arrangement and the lack of long faces that had been present on all of them in the last few months.

 

“Something happened,” she whispered to Richard as they approached her friends.

 

“How do you know?” he asked

 

“I just _know_. Don’t worry, I’ll get my answers,” she said, smiling mischievously.

 

She sat down unceremoniously and sighed “Hi boys. How are you all doing? What happened during the weekend?” she asked, picking up some toast from Phil’s plate and buttering it.

 

“Hey! get your own!” Phil said with an amused smile. “Hi Richard, nice to see you again. Are you joining us in Europe?”

 

“No, I just called in sick today to spend one more day with Mal.”

 

“Yes, he is the perfect boyfriend. But, that does not answer my question,” she bit into her - well, Phil’s - toast for a dramatic pause.

 

“What?” asked Dan looking in her general direction but avoiding her eyes.

 

“What’s going on between all of you? What happened?” she said, gesturing between the four of them.

 

“Nothing happened Mal. _Seriously_.” Troye attempted to say it with a straight face, but failed and at the end, his lips started trembling as he tried not to laugh.

 

“A-ha! Spill the tea!” she said leaning towards him, “You know you’re to tell your dearest friend!”

 

“I don’t know what you are talking about?” he said looking away from her, still smiling.

 

“Tell me!” she said smiling expectantly

 

“No!”

 

“So you admit there is something to say,” she raised one eyebrow.

 

“I’m not admitting to anything,” Troye said giggling as his defences collapsed.

 

“That’s it. Tell me or I’ll twist your nipples right here,” she threatened, the smile never leaving her face.

 

“You wouldn’t!” he gasped amusedly

 

“Come here!” she said slowly standing up.

we

“Nooooooo, Mal!” he said laughing “Con, tell her to stop!” he said, pouting and looking at Connor.

 

Connor, in turn, looked at Troye in silence and made eye contact with Malinda. “Why don’t we all have breakfast peacefully, and then go down to the beach and have a little chat?” he said smiling.

 

“Ugh, ok. But don’t keep me out of the loop,” she pouted. Then, she turned to Dan and Phil. “And don’t think you can get away, we are all going.”

 

“We wouldn’t dream of it,” Phil smiled, patting her hand.

 

\-----

 

As soon as they foot on the beach, they set their towels and sat down.

 

“Ok, we are all here,” Malinda clapped her hands. “We can finally share all of our little secrets. Let’s start at the beginning. How did the FFF go?” she said looking at her friends expectantly.

 

“I didn’t go because I wasn’t feeling well,” said Connor to avoid further questioning.

 

“I saw you on Friday and you weren’t sick, What happened?” she asked worriedly.

 

Connor hesitated, “I was just not feeling it, you know? I needed some time alone,” he said pressing his lips into a fine line, clearly a bit uncomfortable about sharing his feelings.

 

Malinda extended her hand and took Connor’s interlinking their fingers. “Is everything ok now, baby?”

 

One by one, the boys rested one hand on top of Connor’s and Malinda’s for a moment “Yes. I’ve figured it out,” he said, smiling at them.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Connor paused, looking directly at Troye.

 

“Why don’t we go in order. We’ll get to that on Sunday night,” said Troye, blushing profusely.

 

“Nononono, You’re stalling. I wanna know even more now. Start talking!” she said with a smile.

 

“Yes, we want to know,” said Phil excitedly.

 

“Yes!” joined Dan smiling and trying to read Troye’s eyes.

 

“What about you two?” Troye said crossing his arms

 

“Where’re talking about you and Connor now,” said Dan, obviously trying to avoid the topic.

 

“Listen boys, someone better start talking or I’m gonna start pinching,” said Malinda rubbing her forehead. She looked at each of their faces and chose her new target. “Troye?” she said in a mildly menacing tone.

 

“Ugh, ok, fine. So Connor and I didn’t go to the FFF. We had our own stuff to figure out, and we also needed to talk. I think we can all agree the situation needed some kind of resolution or closure,” he said, looking around. When he saw all of them nodding, he continued. “So, I spent friday on my own, thinking, and I asked Con for a serious talk. We agreed on Sunday night, so to avoid going crazy, I spent most of the weekend with Dan, watching some movies, painting our nails and, you know, talking.”

 

“Oh, let me see the nails!” Malinda said.

 

Troye held up his, showing he had chosen to go with a clear nail polish with silver glitter. Dan showed his were bare. “Sorry, I made a mess of it and took it off.”

 

“Don’t worry, we’ll teach you,” She smiled at him. She then turned to Troye “So…”

 

“So, we talked …” he smiled, “and we decided to - finally make it official,” he squealed, though it was barely noticeable because Malinda’s screech overpowered it. “Yes! yes yes yes! Oh, my boys,” she said crawling up to them and wrapping them in a three way hug. “It was about fucking time,” she said as she let go, she moved back wiping a few tears that had escaped. Everyone laughed.

 

“Congratulations guys,” said Phil patting Troye’s hand and smiling widely.

 

“Thanks” said Troye, “So what happened on Monday?” he asked.

 

“Monday? I don’t even know what happened on Friday. Dan?”

 

“Why me?”

 

“Because you look like you are about to crack and Phil is much better at keeping his shit together. Now, what happened on Friday?”

 

Dan considered his choices quickly. Troye knew the story so he couldn’t outright lie. Maybe he could tone it down. “You know we were due for a movie night. So I got there, and Phil being the evil person that he is, insisted that we watched the conjuring. I wanted to say no, but you know how he is. When he wants to do something if you don’t agree he makes you feel like the worst blerson ever - ”

 

“Blerson?” said Malinda.

 

“Did you mean to say boyfriend?” said Connor with an amused smile.

 

Dan blushed so much he looked like he had gotten a horrible sunburn in a matter of seconds. “No! I said person. I said _person._ ”

 

The lie was so obvious that Phil was afraid to speak because he felt like he was about to burst out laughing.

 

Richard, who had been fairly quiet thus far said, “You know, I think out of all of you Dan is definitely my favourite _blerson._ ”

 

Dan smacked him on the shoulder and everyone started laughing.

 

“We want the truth Dan. You are not a good liar, so don’t even try,” said Malinda.

 

Dan looked at Phil who was very unhelpfully still chuckling to himself.

 

“Ok, fine. But you need to promise me this won’t get out until we say it’s ok,” Dan said seriously.

 

“Of course,” said Malinda clearing her throat and sitting upright.

 

Dan looked at Richard, who said: “I would never betray your trust, don’t worry.”

 

He kept his eyes low as he recounted the events from the weekend and Monday morning “Ok, so what happened was…”

 

\-------

 

“Phil, you didn’t!” said Malinda shooting daggers in his direction. Phil just hunched over in his spot, he wasn’t exactly proud of how he had acted.  She turned back to Dan, “Please tell me that you slapped him.”

 

“No, I _didn’t_. I guess he had a somewhat good reason to think that of me, but he could have just talked to me about it.”

 

“What reason could he have possibly had to accuse you of two-timing him with his friend?”

 

Dan looked at Troye, unsure if he should answer that truthfully. “He saw things that, to him, were evidence of that,” he said still looking at Troye.

 

“Oh…”  said Troye. “Um, it’s ok. Connor knows.”

 

“Knows what?” said Malinda.

 

“Don’t be mad!” said Troye leaning away from her.

 

“I’m getting mad already. _What_?”

 

“A few months back, I was having a shit day, and I spoke with Dan backstage. I told him some of my problems and insecurities and he told me his. One thing led to another and -”

 

“Don’t even say it,” interrupted Malinda, putting a hand on her forehead and rubbing it gently to calm the impending headache.

 

“We kissed,” Troye admitted, and rushed to continue, “But, we regretted it immediately, and I stopped making Dan crazy all the time. I realized I was trying to forget about every argument or problem with Connor and dragged Dan down with me, it was not fair. We have been better friends since then.”

 

Malinda was still looking at him with a mixture of contained outrage and shock. Her eyes looked ready to fall out of her head.

 

“But I told Connor, eventually,” he defended himself.

 

“Yeah, eventually. You know, after he let me think he wanted to get into Dan’s pants for like another month.”

 

“And Phil saw you two … _kissing_ ,” she said gesturing between Dan and Troye

 

“You can say it,” said Dan.

 

“ _Idiots_!” she finished.

 

“Yeah. So you see why I was very confused about Dan’s feelings and what exactly he was up to with Troye,” said Phil.

 

“You could have asked him. Called him out if you thought he was doing something like that, what is wrong with you?” she asked in a frustrated tone as she leaned into Phil and pinched his leg.

 

“Ouch. Don’t pinch me, I fixed it. He’s my boyfriend now!” said Phil rubbing his leg.

 

“You would have saved Dan and yourself so much misery if you had spoken to him!”

 

“It’s ok. We are past that now Mal. Remember that we all worked things out,” Dan pointed out.

 

“Thank fuck! You guys are going to kill me one of these days,” she said, chuckling.

 

\-----

  


**@missmalindakat On the beach with the gang! Can you believe they all actually went outside?? At the same time??**

 

\--------------

 

It took Dan and Phil a while to get everything in order after that. Being in a relationship while being on tour with three incredibly noisy friends wasn’t easy, but they made it work.

 

They said their first ‘I love you’s’ in an after-performance-rush, still high on adrenaline from their song and closeness on stage.

 

A few weeks after they got together, they finally had the time and the emotional distance to their fight to sit down and talk about the future.

 

They realized that, with both of them being musicians, things wouldn’t be easy and they would mostly have to wing it as they went. At least both Dan and Phil’s lived in London. After the tour ended they would definitely have the time and a small physical distance to live their life as a couple for a few months.

 

After that, who knew; but they both weren’t too worried by the prospect of slight uncertainty. They had each other, and that was what made it easy for them to look into the future with excitement.

 

From that point on, things went pretty smoothly. They still lacked a bit of time alone, sure; but they had the nights to each other, at least. They were pretty much inseparable during the day.

 

It was a few days after their talk that they surprisingly got time for themselves. Dan had just been through soundcheck - he mostly went after the band, sparing the crew one round of getting the piano back on stage - and was still playing around on his piano when Phil showed up next to him, squeezing onto the stool next to his boyfriend and greeting him with a kiss.

 

“How was soundcheck?” he asked quietly, gently stroking Dan’s hand on the piano and Dan was sure he would melt right then and there. It really was unfair how handsome Phil looked under the stage light.

 

“Fine,” he answered, continuing to play a melody on his piano without taking his eyes away from Phil’s.

 

Phil started humming along to the unfamiliar melody after a while, and Dan basked in the noise. He finally ripped his gaze away from Phil’s, only to lay down his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder before stringing together the pieces of his melody, giving it an order.

 

This time, it was Phil who started to sing completely unexpectedly, right in the middle of something that Dan would interpret of one of the refrains. “ _Place your head on my beating heart, I’m thinking out loud - maybe we found love right where we are…”_

 

And just like that, Dan and Phil wrote their second song together.

 

That night, when they went to sleep, Dan looked up to Phil from where his head laid on his boyfriend’s chest. “What are we doing with the song?” he asked in a whisper, wiggling around when the stroking on his back stopped.

 

It was silent for only the bat of an eye. “We’ll keep it for when you’re ready,” Phil answered then, voice soft, pressing a gentle kiss onto the top of Dan’s head.

 

Dan frowned. “Ready for what?”

 

A low chuckle rumbled through the chest underneath him. “You’ll know it when you are, love.”

 

\----

 

 **@troyesivan:** **@Danielhowell and @AmazingPhil spotted - are we seeing work being done here?? :o**

(It’s a picture of Dan and Phil sitting next to each other at the grand piano, thighs pressed together. Phil is gesticulating wildly towards the sheets in front of them, an excited grin on his face.)

 

\----

 

An entire month. That’s how long it took Dan to understand.

 

It came completely unexpectedly and out of the blue, too - Dan was backstage, observing the band during their soundcheck. Phil looked ravishingly handsome in his tight green shirt that night and Dan couldn’t help but remember the flirtatious comments he had had to read under one of Phil’s newest selfies.

 

Of course, there were quite a few shippers out there, still spamming #phan under every post like a mantra, but since nothing was official, people thought it was okay to flirt with Phil. Not that Dan could blame them, not really, but it made him slightly mad all the same. He wanted to tell the world, to shout it from the rooftops, that Phil was his and his alone.

 

That is when he finally understood.

 

He ran straight on stage, interrupting the soundcheck. The band was looking at him a bit dumbfounded, but it didn’t matter, all that mattered was that he understood. “I’m ready,” he said in between two puffs of breath when his gaze found Phil’s, eyes wide. “I get it, and I’m ready.”

 

Phil was there in an instant, wrapping him into a tight hug and kissing his cheek, his guitar hanging from his back. He didn’t even ask if Dan was sure, he just searched through Dan’s eyes and seemed content with what he found there. “Tonight?”

 

Dan nodded. “Tonight.”

 

The show that night was a whole new experience for Dan. It wasn’t _that_ different, of course, it was the same procedure as every other one, the same performance as an opening act, the same performance from the band, but it still wasn’t the same, either.

 

The band had jumped on Dan and Phil’s request immediately, with shining eyes and a bright smile. They also realized Dan needed the support today more than any other time, comforting him with hugs and nice words before his performance and later, before they went back onstage to perform the encore. Phil stayed steady and sure through all of it, surprising Dan with the way he held himself the whole day, as if there was not a single doubt in his mind that they were doing the right thing. It made Dan’s heart swell with love.

 

Then, it was time. He was standing behind the curtains to wait for his cue when the band ended the third encore, large part of the crowd already seemed to know what was coming, a few chants of Phan were audible through the hall. The band picked up on at that as well.

 

“You already know what’s coming, then.” Dan was able to make out Troye’s voice, even though at this venue the next speakers were quite a step away from where he was waiting behind the curtains.

 

“It wasn’t hard to make it out though, with the massive piano sitting obnoxiously in front of us,” Malinda joked and Dan decided to throw all caution to the wind and intervene right there. He stormed on stage. “Hey! Don’t call her that,” he shouted, acting scandalized, shooting an offended look towards Malinda on his way over to the piano. “She’s a lady!”

 

“Is she now?” Phil asked, chuckling, already waiting for him in front of the piano. The crowd laughed in response, too.

 

“Jokes aside,” Troye started as Dan and Phil took a seat right next to each other on the stool, “we actually have a slight adjustment today.” Malinda was nodding behind them. “We all know you love _Start a riot_ a lot-” She had to pause there to let the crowd scream about it first, “but Dan and Phil actually wrote a new song.”

 

“If you follow Troye on Twitter -” Phil got interrupted there by Troye. “You all should!”

 

“Shut up!” Malinda called him back in line and the crowd chuckled again in response.

“You might have seen we have started working on it around a month ago,” he finished, looking over to Dan and finally capturing him in his blue eyes. When he looked into them like that, Dan still felt like drowning.

 

“But we -” He took a deep breath, letting the love Phil emitted soothe his erratically beating heart. “We weren’t ready.”

 

“Now we are,” Phil stated, gently, only in his eyes stood the silent question. _Are you?_

 

“We are,” assured Dan quietly, more for his boyfriend than for the crowd, which had already shifted somewhere into the background again.

 

They started on some invisible sign, and from the second line on Dan was sure the world had ceased to exist somehow, it was him and Phil and their voices, gently caressing over the notes as well as his fingers, flowing over the keys like the waves he had shown Phil during their first piano lesson.

 

He was so full of love and happiness he was sure the people would pick up on it, but he didn’t care, no, he _wanted_ them to, wanted them to see how much Phil meant to him.

 

There was a lump in his throat, and tears in his eyes when the last note faded out. His heart was about to burst out of his chest when the crowd erupted in deafening screams and cheers, a grin forming on his face so wide he was sure it might just split in half.

 

Then Phil was there hugging him, the rest of the band joined, pulling them into a group hug as soon as they stepped away from the piano. For the first time ever, Dan felt like everything in life was exactly where it was supposed to be.

 

When Troye and Malinda were bowing, Phil turned around to look into Dan’s eyes, faces just centimetres apart, grinning at him wildly. “You know, there’s still a lot of years until we’re 70. There’s still so much more to come.”

 

Dan grinned right back. “Yeah. _So_ much more.”

  
  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr: [Succubusphan](http://Succubusphan.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Follow Julia on Tumblr: [Shippingfangirl26](http://Shippingfangirl26.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr Link](https://succubusphan.tumblr.com/post/178135318851/fall-to-pieces-when-im-with-you)
> 
>  
> 
> Please let us know what you thought, kudos and comments are very appreciated. I'm still trying to convince my sweet Julia to post on her own. For now, we are thinking not only of doing a sequel fot this fic but a major epic au. Every bit of love would really helps.


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